Dear Mr Nissan Patrol driver,
Your car is so shiny! You must love your car more than me.
Your car looked clean and washed and quite possibly rather new.
My car is 20 years old and covered in white markings from the salt on the roads.
Both our cars are on the bigger side aren't they?
I bet you enjoy driving around looking out on other cars and being able to see up ahead what the traffic is doing as much as I do.
How about this snow we've had, huh? CRAZY! Breaking records left right and centre.
The roads are a mess though aren't they? A crazy patchwork of ice, bitumen, snow, over salted gritty spots- it's like a rollercoaster out there.
Lucky I don't have dentures or they'd rattle right out just getting into town I reckon!
It took me over an hour to make a 30 minute drive yesterday.
The roads are so narrow in some places I couldn't even pass a little kei-car. Spent a lot of time backing up into driveways or waiting for someone else to do the same.
It was a little hairy at times and certainly not a relaxing drive but you know what? It was kind of heartening to feel part of a bigger community of people all doing the giving and taking thing to make sure we all get home safely.
And then I met you.
On a corner.
On a road that's narrow anyway.
The centre line was only 30cm from the edge of the road on my side so It wasn't going to happen.
I had three cars behind me (love that big car extra vision don't you?)
You had noone behind you.
But you just stopped dead still.
I know the road laws here. I'm sure you do too: whichever one of us is moving when we collide has the responsibility for the accident. The flip side being as long as you are stationary you are fault free.
So you stopped. All four wheels on black.
I inched up into a snowbank on my side figuring if I did that and then stopped you'd do the same and get by and we'd all go about our way.
Your precious car doesn't do snowbanks huh?
All that big car extra vision wasn't working though as you couldn't see me gesturing that I was already in the snow.
So I gave up and kept edging into the snow.
I got stuck.
The cars behind me all backed up so I could reverse and try again.
I was sweating. My wheels were spinning. I needed speed to get traction but not so much speed I kept going into a concrete block fence.
You my friend looked remarkably serene.
I got passed.
No thanks to you.
You kept your spot while the cars behind me used my tracks to get around you too.
Please watch this video:
(caveat- I only watched the first 20 seconds of this. If naked women or cruelty to animals appear after that it was not my intention to publicise that.)
Look at that Nissan Patrol go!
If you are still unwilling to get a little snow on your tires please just stay home till Spring.
The Delica driver who only just made it past you last night.