It snowed all day.
The only lamb you can buy in this town is uber-thin sliced and frozen. The locals eat it as "Genghis-Kahn" a hot plate meal. You can't roast it to eat with mint sauce.
This town is also completely devoid of VB, Fosters, Carlton- even XXXX.
I don't actually drink beer anyway.
I could have made meat pies but I went to all that trouble a couple of years ago and the girls were less than thrilled (they don't really like beef mince) and K was happy as long as it was served with rice and pickles and miso soup.... which is completely un-Australian.
Being electric mixerless I didn't have the energy or get-up-and-go to make a pavlova.
And anyway, I think the latest news is that NZ has put in another claim on it. Sheesh, next thing you'll want Russell Crowe, too....
I had to work all day. That is almost criminally un-Australian. Even for a non-beer drinker. Australia Day should be spent outside, flat out like a lizard drinking, soaking up cancerous UV rays in your shorts and thongs (North Americans please note the s on the end there) and either listening to the cricket, the tennis or JJJ hottest 100 countdown. You then have to whinge. That's important- we were robbed at the cricket (even if we won), the tennis coverage sucks and the hottest 100 is sooo commercial these days. (It's a popular vote so you'd assume that a majority of people voted for the #1 song but you'd never guess it to hear the moans from the obviously far more culturally elite...)
So anyway, what with the snow and all that I was not going to be lying out on the deck wearing any amount of clothing let alone just a singlet and shorts.
I was definitely feeling like the hard done by Australian. The little Aussie battler. The under-dog in the Australia Day festivities. (This may sound depressing but these are all good things, they are all very Australian sentiments.)
So, after briefly wondering whether I could blame the government in any way for my current predicament, realising it would be difficult to blame immigrants as I am one and deciding El Nina was a definite possibility I was buoyed by my Aussie true grit in being still determined to do something Aussie and burst into a rousing rendition of Advance Australia Fair. Only I couldn't remember the tune properly- kept getting mixed up with the Adam Hills Working Class man version.
Actually, I think I prefer that version.
Undecided whether that's shockingly un-Australian or quite the renegade anti-authoritarian true blue Aussie thing to do.
So, being that I am obviously such a true blue Aussie chic I of course own me some Barnesy and put it on as I had a moment of sheer genius (Australians are known for these, just ask one) and made the perfect dish to celebrate Australia Day-observed-under-less-than-ideal-conditions:
Only it seems the NZers reckon they got dibs on that, too...
That'd be right. Bloody Kiwis.
Kiwi bashing- that's very Australian.
So is cussing.
I'm feeling more Aussie by the minute here.
Better go before I start approaching random Americans to tell them what's wrong with their country...
Happy (bloody) Australia Day anyway, (mates).
*I mean no disrespect to the memory of any ANZACs and am fully aware that my 'hardships' are nothing compared to what they endured but you see complaining and exaggeration are such quintessentially Australian traits...