2010年6月29日火曜日

The Amy morning monologue

Good morning! I love you too. Did you sleep well? Get dressed and come and have brekky. No, Amy that's Meg's brekky and she's eating it because she's already dressed. Amy? I asked you to get dressed first. No don't go now that you've already spilt milk on your pjs. Amy please don't use your hands to eat your cereal. What are you doing??? I know I said don't use your hands but I meant go get a spoon- not stick your head in your bowl! Amy, you know which end of the spoon goes in your mouth- do it. What are you doing under the table? Well pick the spoon up don't draw in the spilt milk with it. No, you already had a mouthful and I don't think kimchi and cereal are a good brekkie combination anyway. Get down off the table and go and get dressed. Put your PJs in the wash because you spilt milk on them. Amy! Not on the kitchen floor- in the wash. Those are heavy weight cords and a polar fleece jumper. It's hot and sunny today. Do you want to change into shorts? Take those clothes with you when you go get the new ones! Amy walk please. I know you hurt your knees but that's why you shouldn't crawl-run on a synthetic carpet. I don't think you need bandaids. Go and get some clothes on- it wouldn't have happened if you had clothes on. And take these clothes back when you go. Amy where are you? Well, yes. It's a pretty flower. Thank you. But I like the flowers outside in the garden where we can see them for a long time. And could you please get dressed? Ok, I'll come help you choose once I've put this in daddy's bento. You grab your poolcard while you're waiting. What are you doing? That is where Mummy writes your temperature. I know you're 4 but your temperature is not 4. Trust me. Clothes! Now! Ok. I'm coming. How about this one? This one? This one? You said you wanted mummy to help choose? Well you decide then. What do you mean don't walk on the play mat? Why? Well take your milky pjs out from under there and put them in the wash then. I know it's a hassle. I know I tell you to do it everyday but that's life. Ok. Let's brush your teeth. Yes. That is a very pretty picture but I asked you to get your toothbrush. Good job. Now the toothpaste. You have to open your mouth so I can see your teeth. Ok go spit. Not in the kitchen sink! Where's the hairbrush I put on the table? Charlie bear doesn't even have hair. Ok. Three more brushes for Charlie Bear then it's your turn. Stay still while I do your hair. Well tell me how Mi-chan's hair looked like yesterday and I'll try it but I can't do it like Mi-chan's hair when I didn't see Mi-chan's hair. "Like that" is a bit vague. Two plaits? Two ponytails? One plait? You choose. Ok. Two ponytails. Keep your head still. Amy I know you want to see what I'm doing but just stay still or I can't do it. Ok. Where's your bag? Why is it under your desk? I don't think you have time to play kinder under your desk today. We're trying to get ready for real kinder. Go get your bag. Amy? Your bag! Ok. socks. No. I just hung those socks out. They're still wet. Really. Check then. See? Different socks today. Ok. shoes. Your shoes. On your feet! Amy your bag! Come back here and get your bag! Oh forget it. I'll get your bag, just get in the car. In the passenger seat. Thank you. I love you too. Have fun today. Good bye!
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Phew.... I swear, by the time Amy gets out the door to go to kinder I deserve a Nobel prize for parenting.

Or a stiff drink.

Or both.

5 件のコメント:

Claire さんのコメント...

This had me laughing out loud! What is it about second children having to be asked/told to do perfectly normal parts of their daily routine at least four or five times before the message gets through? Dan is *exactly* the same (though at least as he's a boy we don't have the conversations about hair styles). You have waaaay more patience than I do, though.

achan さんのコメント...

I'm chuckling away here too!! It sounds a little familar (my son).

I streamlined mornings a bit to save my sanity (3 kids up/fed/dressed/bento and out the door by 8.10!) by putting all school gear on special hooks in the genkan and preparing baskets with their clothes in it the night before. It helps but now I need a breakfst routine!!

and applying suncreen throws everything off!

Lulu さんのコメント...

Um sounds like me to my husband everymorning.

"Shun wake up. Shun wake up. Shun wake up. Shun wake up. (x about another 20 times before he gets out of bed and moves to the sofa). Shun get ready. What will you have for breakfast? There is rice and nato. Or tofu. Or cereal. Okay, I will put the rice in the microwave and when it goes ping you need to get up. Shun it went ping. Get up. Shun, get up. Shun WAKE UP. Don`t sleep on the sofa you have to get ready for work.

Shun take your plates to the sink for god sake. I am not your slave. Shun watch Noah while I have a shower. (I come back and Noah is playing on his mat or sitting on Shun`s lap watching tv and Shun is asleep again), Shun wake up. You need to get ready. Get a shirt. Your jeans are on the chair there. Shun the shirt is inside out. Fix it up.

Shun finish getting ready. Go do you hair. Shun don`t forget your bento. Put it in your bag now so you don`t forget it. Shun did you wash your face? I think you have toothpaste on it? You really should shave more than once a week you know. People on the train probably think you are homeless.

(Shun is finished getting ready and sits back down on the sofa. Possibly cuddling Noah and promptly nods back off) I wake him up again at 8:45 because he has to leave at 8:50am.

Shun did you put your bento in your bag? Don`t forget. Oh and you have to buy your teiki today. I put the money in your wallet. Don`t forget.



That was this morning.


Shun is not a morning person. He is also a slob. At least he doesn`t USUALLY spill milk on his pjs though. Or draw in the spilt milk with a spoon!

常映 さんのコメント...

Quality is better than quantity.....................................................................

Gaijin Wife さんのコメント...

LOL - head in bowel like dog. Oh, Amy. She must be exhausted by the end of the day.

Thankyou though, it has made me realize it isn't just a four year old boy thing, it is four year olds in general - Shou's mornings are like that and about every second day he's like Amy on speed.

stiff drinks all round. Hope you're working on the wine techniques.