I have blogged about the giving thing before.
I was trying to think of the very worst thing I've ever been given.
By worst I don't mean the thing itself is bad but just that it caused me stress/ grief/ heartache/ heartburn at the time. For example a daikon is a great gift but twenty daikon? That's edging towards thanks-but-no-thanks territory...
So, in Letterman style:
10. All the clothes that people in the neighbourhood buy and realise are too big for them. (ouch!)
9. All the clothes that people in the neighbourhood buy and realise are too big for them but are still too small for me (double ouch!)
8. 2kg of fresh mochi. Not dried, can be frozen stuff, but fresh must be eaten or it will go mouldy stuff.
7. A gold fish. Well, two actually- one each for M and A. Very expensive free fish after we bought a tank and pump and food and water stabiliser ...and then replacement fish...
6. The mail. Well not the mail itself but the fact that the mailman always gives it to the girls if they're outside and then I have to negotiate for my rights to the telephone bill...
5. Any and all produce from the grumpy guy who was busted using humanure. Apparently he's stopped, but, well, it's the idea of it...
4. 10kg of oversized citrus fruit. Normally a welcome gift but I was given it and asked to make it into marmalade... 10 kilos of it....
3. The chrysanthemums. They're still going strong- more's the pity!
2. A flower from my favourite rose. The flower from my favourite rose... with half the rose bush attached. By Amy so I couldn't get too mad but I still look at the remaining half rose bush and imagine what if...
And 1. The winner. By sooooo much I swear I hope I never get a gift that tops this one? Not one but two ko shamo. What's that, you ask? The island next to Koh Samui perhaps? Nooooo, but the Thailand reference is apt. My Ko shamo are roosters. Not just any roosters, game cocks, descended from Thai fighting roosters... Fabulous. Wonderful. And did I mention they are just about the ugliest looking birds I've ever seen? I thought the two I was given were looking a bit scrawny because they had been unloved but nope. Here's a picture of a prize winning Ko shamo:
Thanks to these people for the pic.
Now beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that but when someone turns up on your doorstep at 8:30 in the morning bearing gifts that's not what you expect to see!
The story is that a local free range egg place had these two cockerels as pets but with Asian flu and all anyone in the bird business is not allowed to keep any pet birds on the property. Mr Free range eggs was inspected this morning and told to get rid of his pets. He immediately thought of us (I'd asked his advice on encouraging my hens not to sleep in their nesting boxes a couple of months ago.) and walah we have a couple of street fighters move in.
I tried all the usual 'ohhh, we couldn't possibly' and 'No, we really couldn't' and when he moved to convince K with a round of 'and they are the same breed used in cockfights!' I looked aghast and said probably a little strongly for politeness: 'No way!' but to prove how docile these particular cocks are Mr free range eggs lifted them into the cage with my four gorgeous fluffy white girls and it was game over. M and A think they're a riot- way more fun to watch than the hens as they are almost vertical they walk so upright and they posture like they're auditioning for Mr Universe. And I guess if they don't kill each other they might scare off predators... and it is nice hearing a rooster crowing.... and if it doesn't work out Mr Free range eggs has promised to come back and ring their necks as neither K nor I could do it, but then that's why he gave them to us in the first place.... sigh... oh well...
But seriously- does that not win the alltime most amazingly horrible no-really-you-shouldn't-have gift award?